One Nine Nearly No More

Sadly I am counting down the final hours of my teenage-dom. Teenagerness is almost a thing of the past. Tomorrow marks the day that I was born an entire twenty years ago. A whole two decades. Twenty years of life experience, though it doesn't feel it. And like some kind of early life crisis it's something that I find a bit depressing. I'm not ready to not be a teenager yet. I feel like I'm in a video game and there is something I've missed completing or forgotten to collect that gets me through to the next level. Missing some xp points. Level 20 is supposed to be pretty good, not as good as level 21 obviously but still promising. So what did I forget to collect along the way on level 19? Maybe it isn't that important if I can still progress to level 20 without it.

But why do I have this irrational fear of getting older? Is it something we all get in the later teen years before we burst into our twenties? Maybe it's just because when I was thirteen, you looked up to twenty year olds as much as you did a forty year old. Twenty is an adult and they must know everything, they know what they're doing, at peace with themselves and have a direction set. They seemed confident and all knowing. But as I have gotten closer to this 'adultness' it seems that is not the case at all. I guess either my thirteen year old eyes were innocently and easily deceived or there is something wrong with me. I guess it's just different, it doesn't feel how I thought it would feel to be almost twenty. I've been pondering about it a lot over the last week. But I know I need to embrace it. I must embrace my age, it is only a number after all. But I can't promise that this is the last of my contemplations of such things. I don't think my liking of having birthdays is going to improve any time soon.

Was watching a repeat of Glee, I believe it is Season 2, Episode 14, Blame it on the Alcohol,  and it's the episode where Rachel holds a party and they all get smashed off their faces and then continue to drink away the hangover for a few days until they perform in front of the entire school at an assembly about Alcohol awareness and drinking responsibly. Funnily enough they are all drunk and then two of them throw up mid performance, (Britney and Santana) but somehow they still manage to pull it all off, the principal praising them on their acting and effects used to emphasise the message. Anyway, still undecided about the messages in this episode being that sound but I was just admiring Britney and her amazing talent. She is my favourite character at the moment. Admittedly I haven't seen any of the latest episodes of series three, I'll marathon it when it's on DVD I think. But she is just so funny. So this led me to come across this video on YouTube of Britney moments. I'm sure fellow Glee fans will have a good giggle. 4:54 is possibly my favourite.

Bluejuice is a pretty cool band but I'm kind of stunned of the daring direction they took their latest clip, Act Yr Age. What do you think of it? I can't help but laugh at it but at the same time I struggle not to be a little bit grossed out! Kind of an ironic song title to be mentioning at this point in tim too.

So this is one of my last posts as my nineteen year old self. I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something kind of epic tonight. Perhaps It will be better to epically break out into my twenties rather than to epically close out the teens... stay tuned!

xo